BE SENT TO A DESERT ISLAND TO LIVE ALONE
Subject: Helpline>True Telephone conversations recorded from various Help Desks around the U.K>------------------------------------------------------->>>
Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?>>
Customer: A white one...>>-------------------------------------------------------
>>Customer:Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.>>
Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?>>
Customer: Yes, but it's really stuck.>>
Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ..>>
Customer: No . wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry .>------------------------------------------------------->>>
Helpdesk:Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.>>
Customer: Your left or my left?>>--------------------------------------------------------
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Helpdesk:Good day. How may I help you?>>
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.>>
Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and ...>>
Customer:Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates damn it!>>-------------------------------------------------------->>>
Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...>>-------------------------------------------------------->>
Customer: I have problems printing in red...>>
Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer?>>
Customer:No.>>------------------------------------------------------>>
Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?>>
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.>>-------------------------------------------------------->>
Helpdesk:And now hit F8.>>
Customer: It's not working.>>
Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?>>
Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's happening...>>-------------------------------------------------------->>
Customer:My keyboard is not working anymore.>>
Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?>>
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.>>
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.>>
Customer: OK>>
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?>>
Customer: Yes>>
Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?>>
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work!>>------------------------------------------------------->>
Helpdesk:Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.>>
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?>>-------------------------------------------------------->>
A customer couldn't get on the internet.>>
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?>>
Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.>>
Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?>>
Customer:Five stars.>>-------------------------------------------------------->>
Helpdesk:What antivirus program do you use?>>
Customer: Netscape.>>
Helpdesk:That's not an antivirus program.>>
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.>>-------------------------------------------------------->>
Customer:I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!>>-------------------------------------------------------->>
Helpdesk:Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you?>>
Customer: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can you please tell me how long it will take before you can help me?>>
Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem?>>
Customer: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4 hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me?>>-------------------------------------------------------->>
Helpdesk:How may I help you?>>
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.>>
Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?>>
Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around it?>>
