THE JOB THAT'S NOT WORK!

THOSE OF YOU THAT KNOW ME, KNOW THAT I COULDN'T FIND A JOB WHEN I MOVED TO FRANCE. I'VE DREAMED OF RETIREMENT SINCE I WAS 21, BUT WHEN I HAD NO JOB FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, DEPRESSION SET IN.

IN 1999 I ANSWERED AN AD BY THE TOWN I LVE IN FOR TEMPORARY EMPLOYEES.
I HAD TO APPLY WITH A CV AND "LETTER OF MOTIVATION" HAND WRITTEN
( ALL FRENCH COMPANYS USE HANDWRITING ANALYSIS )IN FRENCH.

I WAS PROUD AND REFUSED TO TELL MY WIFE CAUSE SHE CORRECTS EVERYTHING.(TEACHER STUFF). I GOT A RESPONSE FOR AN INTERVIEW AND WAS TOLD WHAT THE JOB WAS. BASICALLY, SCHOOL CROSSING GUARD. WELL I TOOK IT AND IT PAID PEANUTS AND TOOK UP MY WHOLE DAY.

NOW IN 2004, I FIND I LOVE THIS JOBLESS JOB. I GET TO TALK TO PEOPLE OCCASIONALLY AND TRAIN THE LITTLE ONES IN STROLLERS TO WAVE.

I'VE SEEN MANY GROW UP AND GO TO THE SCHOOL WITH THEIR SIBLINGS.

WHEN I WAS ILL I REALLY FELT BAD. NOW I'M BACK TO WORK AND ENJOY IT. THE PAY IS OK AND I GET ALL THE SCHOOL HOLIDAYS.

I KNOW HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE, NOT BY NAME BUT BY SIGHT. I SAY HELLO TO EVERYONE AND HAVE BECOME A FIXTURE ON MY POST.

IF I WORK TILL I'M 65 I WILL GET A PENSION EQUAL TO 1/2 THE MINIMUM FRENCH PENSION. NOT MUCH, BUT BETTER THAN NOTHING.

IF I LEAVE BEFORE , IT'S ZIP! NADA! RIEN! NOT A CENTIME. DON'T ASK WHY, LIKE MANY FRENCH RULES AND LAWS , IT'S TOO COMPLICATED. I JUST GO WITH THE FLOW AND MY WIFE DOES THE PAPERWORK.
I AM PRETTY FLUENT IN FRENCH, BUT AM LOST WITH THE PAPERWORK FOR ANYTHING ADMINISTRATIVE.

I STAND ON MY CORNER AND WATCH ALL THE GIRLS GO BY.

I'M MR STOP.
IF SOMEONE TOLD ME ABOUT MY LIFE TODAY, 15 YEARS AGO, I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THEM CRAZY.

AGE DOES STRANGE THINGS TO US ALL.

I .......EVEN LIKE KIDS!
( FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT DON'T KNOW ME WELL, MY OLD MOTTO WAS "I HATE , KIDS, CATS AND COUNTRY MUSIC.")

REAL LIFE IS STRANGER THAN FICTION!